The Side-Hustle Dad

Ep36
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[00:00:00]

New Dad Overwhelm
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Bryan Steele: I remember very clearly the day that we brought our son home from the hospital. It was back in 2012. Yes, I'm that old. And I distinctly remembering feeling completely overwhelmed and unprepared for fatherhood. Like, I could not understand how I needed to go through like a testing and licensing process to drive a car, and yet they were just going to let me walk out of this building with an entire human being for me to care for on my own without a manual.

Now, certainly we had family and friends and people who were willing to support us, but I cannot imagine having been trying to run a side hustle during that time period. I had neither the brain space or the emotional capacity or the sleep necessary to be able to function in that way and actually run a business on the side of my main job.

And [00:01:00] that's what I wanna talk about today because there's a good chance that at some point in your life you may run into a season where you need to put things on pause, and that's okay

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Bryan Steele: ~And while I wasn't actually running a side hustle there~

When Life Demands Pause
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Bryan Steele: Now, it's really easy to imagine the situations that can come up in your life that force you to reevaluate priorities and could potentially put you in a position where you say, "Hey, this, this business that I've been working on, this business I've been building on the side, it's gotta go on the back burner a little bit.

It's gotta go on pause." And it's pretty straightforward. It's a newborn. It's having a situation where [00:02:00] you've gotta care for a family member. It's having a kid who's really struggling in a class, and you've got to be more present and helpful. The Pew Research says that 47% of adults in their 40s and 50s are in a sandwich state.

They're combined with kids on one side demanding a lot of attention and effort, Ubering them around to a half dozen different activities, and on the other side, they've got aging parents who they're having to care for or help manage households or care at home or become the primary caregiver. You put that on top of your own relationships and your own nine-to-five job, and it's pretty easy to see that ~it doesn't take a lot To...~

It doesn't take a lot to require you to push a side hustle business that you've been working on to the back burner.

Health Comes First
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Bryan Steele: Now, it's important to recognize this, right? [00:03:00] Your own health is important. You cannot continue working in this situation. We talked about the emergency break last week. If your wife says, "This isn't working for me," but honestly, this is the emergency break for yourself.

If you're saying, "I haven't s- had a full night's sleep in over a week," that might be a sign that you've got too much going on. There's too many irons in the fires, there's too many demands on your time, and you need to reevaluate priorities and, and potentially put this on pause for a while. And it's not n- a bad thing.

It's not a bad thing when you have to do this for yourself. Your health and your longevity are important. You don't want to let this continue. And remember, a season off isn't a step back. It's just a step that's going to allow you to stay in your business longer term, [00:04:00] as long as you do it well, and that's what we're gonna get into today.

Why Grinding Backfires
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Bryan Steele: Now, there's a misconception that in these seasons, you have to push harder. This is the grind. This is the grind mentality. You've gotta keep going, keep moving, don't stop, keep the momentum. But if you're trying to grind in this sort of a season, it's going to start showing up. You're gonna be slower to respond to messages from clients.

You're gonna miss a deadline. You're gonna be sloppy in your deliverables because they don't get the appropriate care and attention. Maybe that you're giving them the same amount of time, but you're just not in the same space to produce the same quality of work. And if you continue with that, it's gonna start showing up in things that really can be damaging.

Lost clients, bad reviews, referrals drying up because people don't trust you anymore, because you've been working against [00:05:00] the grain. Now, feeling tired or temporary things that, you know, are coming up are fine. Going aggressively for a week can happen. There may be those short sprints where it does take a toll on you.

But if this is something that's gonna go on for a month or two months, that's a season, ~and we've got to give ourspil...~ and we've got to give ourself the space to step back ~Now~

Now remember, this is a side hustle, so if you pause, you are not putting your family's livelihood at risk. ~Where you're able to give yourself some...~ There are situations we've talked about in the past where having this side hustle gives you diversification, gives you some abilities you didn't have before should things pop up.

But in this situation, you've got the day job, you've got your core needs met, and it's okay to take this step back. We [00:06:00] just need to do it in a smart way so that you are in a position to let those things be handed off appropriately, and that you can then pick it back up when you're in a space that you can resume the side hustle.

Business In Amber
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Bryan Steele: So if we're gonna be looking at putting a mothball on a, on a business, or one of, one of my friends will say, putting it in amber. If you've ever seen the movie Jurassic Park, they've got the mosquito that's in, encased in amber, and that's how they get the DNA of the dinosaurs. The same idea is true of your business.

We're just trying to put it in amber. We're not saying the business is bad. We're not saying it doesn't work. We're not saying you're not successful. We're just saying it's got to go into a state where we can unthaw it later and resume. But for now, we've got to preserve it so we can pick it back up later, and that's what this ninety-day pause is all about.

Set Date And Align
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Bryan Steele: So the first thing you're gonna do [00:07:00] is you're gonna set the date. You're gonna look at what date is, what's ninety days from now? And define that as the, "I'm going to evaluate and pick things back up. That's when I'm gonna be potentially resuming work." You just set the date out there, say, "That's when I think makes the most sense."

Then you're going to talk to your wife. You're gonna say, "Hey, we've got a season. I think it's time for my own well-being and health that I put the business on pause, and I'd like to look at picking it back up in ninety days. Do you agree with that?" She might say, "Needs to be a hundred and eighty," or she might say it needs to be a year.

But whatever that timeframe is, you're going to collaboratively decide on that date to pick it back up or when you can evaluate picking it back up.

Wrap Clients And Leads
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Bryan Steele: Then you need to look at your current client situation. Who is it you're working with? Who needs things from you? So people you've already been working with, people who you've done a lot of work for, look at tying up those loose ends.

What do you need to do in the next week or two [00:08:00] weeks to finish up those projects? Finish those pieces up, tie up the loose ends, hand over the deliverables. If they are longer-term engagements, you want to message them and say, "Hey, I am not going to be able to resume this. I'm needing to take a pause for myself in the business for the time being, just with a bunch of outside factors are really weighing on me, ~so we're...~

I'm gonna be taking a pause on the business. ~Um,~ here's what I'm gonna be able to provide to you now, and then here's my recommendation going forward." Maybe you're going to refer the work to someone else that you know, a colleague, maybe somebody you've worked with in the past. Say, "Hey, here's somebody I would recommend reaching out to.

Wanna make sure you're taken care of." So in those two weeks, you know, be available. Try to help them get things handed off so you're serving them the best that you can. And for those people maybe you've talked to or maybe you've even signed contracts and you haven't started working together, you say, "Hey, something's come up.

I'm not gonna be able to [00:09:00] take on this work." If they've paid deposits, refund those a hundred percent. I know that sort of thing is painful, but this is for your own benefit and to make sure you maintain a strong relationship there for when you pick up the work again. You tell them the date when you're gonna resume, and you would even do that for the other people you've been working with.

You say, "Hey, I'm taking a pause. This is when I'm look... gonna be looking at picking the work back up again. I'd love to keep in touch when that happens." So you're gonna tell everybody that. You're gonna refund the people you haven't really done any work with yet. And for people you're talking to, say, "Hey, things have come up.

I'm not gonna be able to take on this project right now. I'm looking at, you know, ninety days from now. This date is when I'm gonna be looking to, to maybe resume. I'd be happy to reach out at that time. If you need some support sooner, happy to refer you to someone else." That's the sort of attitude that you wanna bring.

You're of service to others. So look for those opportunities to hand things off well.

Shut Off Marketing
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Bryan Steele: It's totally fine, it's totally [00:10:00] okay to set those boundaries and establish that Once you've handed off that work, once you've finished those deliverables, passed things off, referred people out, you've got that communication taken care of, now you're gonna turn off all of your automations and communication and marketing, right?

We don't wanna be creating a lot of leads when we can't respond to them. So you're gonna put an out of office reply on your email, say, "Hey, at this time we're taking a pause on the business. We expect to be resuming in this timeframe. If you need immediate support, reach out to so and so," or, you know, "Here are people we would recommend.

In the meantime, I'd, I'd be happy to reach out at that timeframe and see if I can be of service to you." Very simple out of office message is what you're looking for there. So that's, that's the main thing is the email inbox. Then you're going to pause your booking link. So if you've got people able to, you know, come schedule meetings with you, turn that [00:11:00] off or set an out of office for that time period.

Just block it out, just unavailable for the next three months, six months, whatever that pause period may be. Put that in place You're going to pause all recurring retainers or cancel any of those projects. Anything that's long-term, you should have been starting to do some of that with the previous step, but you're gonna take that care of that now.

You're not gonna be doing any posting. If you happen to have any social media automations or things that are gonna keep posting for you, turn those things off, and then turn off app notifications. So your CRM, your email, turn off the notifications that you have specifically for your business. You don't want things popping up and demanding your mental bandwidth during this time.

So turn those off.

Cut Costs And Document
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Bryan Steele: Then you're gonna cut back on the expenses. So you've got your system set up. You've got finances. You should have the [00:12:00] separate checking account for the business. So you're gonna cancel all subscriptions or downgrade them to the minimum level since you're not going to be using things for now.

So get all those things taken care of. You're gonna leave the tax bucket alone 'cause you may need to pay out some taxes later on. Your, your main goal with this is to not let the bank account slowly be draining. So be looking at the last six months. What are the regular transactions, the things that you're paying for out of the business that you're not going to need during the pause?

The main goal is to get those all turned off or minimized. We just don't want to have to mess with this while you're on pause. Then once you've got all this taken care of, you're gonna give yourself a restart note. You can date it. You can put it in a folder, in a Google Drive, whatever it might be. You're gonna specifically write down in five minutes, like, where things were.

Here were the people I worked with that I tied things up with. These would be great people to talk to. Here were some people that I had to stop [00:13:00] working with early, and I was handing them off to others. What that was looking like, so you can reach out back to them. And then who were those leads in your pipeline that you were talking to but maybe had not started working with yet?

Those are the things to really be documenting. What were the loose ends? Where can you start picking things back up when you restart? If you turn things off, subscriptions, you can make a list of those in this document so you know where to go back to to get things running again. 'Cause surprisingly, I forget things when I've been asleep for like, you know, thirty minutes.

Like things will just fall out of my brain. So documentation can be really helpful in this situation.

Monthly Checkpoint
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Bryan Steele: And then you're going to give yourself a touch point once a month. And all you're going to do with this touch point, you're not working on the business, you're just gonna go log into your email, check to make sure there is no chaos or emergencies or fires that you have to address, and then you're going to check the bank account.

Something happened there. Is it doing what you expect? There weren't any unexpected [00:14:00] transactions that took place over the previous months. You are not working It's just a checkpoint, and that's why we turned off the app notifications because we know there's gonna be this once-a-month calendar thing.

Just take twenty minutes, go check those, make sure everything's okay, nothing else is happening there, and then you can resume your focus where it's going to need to be. So I went through all those really quick. We're gonna recap that list. Set the date for the release or set the date for the pause.

Coordinate that with your wife. Make sure she is in agreement. Finish off what's in work. If you need to coordinate with clients that you're not gonna be able to, make all those refers. That's third. Fourth, you're gonna turn off all automations, marketing channels, turn all that stuff off. Fifth, you're going to go back to your bank account, make sure that you've downgraded all subscriptions.

You're not gonna be spending a lot of money out of your business checking [00:15:00] account. Sixth, you're gonna give yourself that restart note to open back up. And then seventh, that once-a-month touch point just to make sure there's no fires, something you need to address, ~um,~ in an emergency. So should only take a weekend.

And if you do this well, you hand it off, you're gonna have the respect of your clients. You're gonna look professional. Nothing to worry about in that situation. And when you pick it back up, they're gonna be happy to work with you because they know that you're in the space to really serve them well because you've set those boundaries.

When you say you're ready, they know you mean it.

Restart The Right Way
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Bryan Steele: Now What to do at the end of the pause. When you look at, okay, the date is here, am I picking this back up? Are we really ready? So you're gonna sit down with your family. If it's older kids, sit down with your wife, obviously. Is the season over? Has it changed?

Do we have things more under control? Are [00:16:00] things becoming more routine? If they're not, if you're still in that pause season, just extend the date. Just move it out a little bit further. It's totally fine. No one is asking you for anything yet. It's much better to know you're really ready to come back than to start and realize you weren't ready to come back and have to pause again, right?

That starts to look like on, off, on, off. You're flipping the light switch up and down, which drives me nuts. So make sure you're really ready to come back. So that communication is gonna be really important with your family. Then, if the timing is right, gonna go through that restart note. Who are the first people you're contacting?

Who are those people you're reaching out to, to start the business again? Okay? Look at why you're restarting the business. Did the pause force some changes in motivation behind the side hustle? Is the money going to go towards something else, a different goal or ambition? It might have a different job this time around [00:17:00] than it did before.

So evaluate that. Look at it. And then you're gonna warm up that list. Reach out to those past clients. Say, "Hey, I'm back. Here's what's changed. Here's what's gonna be the same. I'm excited to be working again It's just letting them know, sharing with them what's going on, and start your automations back up, anything else that was shut down during the pause.

Ease Back In Leaner
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Bryan Steele: And then you're gonna come back at a slower pace. Don't go back in full bore the same as you were previously. Ease back in, find those rhythms, maintain those boundaries that we've talked about before. You want to make sure you're easing back in. Don't become overwhelming for yourself, right? It, it's like riding a bike.

You will remember, but those first couple times around the neighborhood may, may be a little rough, right? Your muscles are not conditioned in the same way that they once were because ~the work is not something you've been done.~ The work is not something you've been doing regularly. So give yourself some [00:18:00] time to get up to speed.

And certainly, since you haven't been working with clients, it may take some time to get the leads coming in, get the business opportunities coming in. Don't judge yourself based on that. But because you've managed it well, it should be relatively easy to restart and get going again 'cause you do have that track record.

You have worked well with people in the past. And then keep whatever you cut. If three subscriptions and two services didn't matter, you know, what you were looking at in your expenses, and you don't really need them going forward, don't start them back up Look at each thing that you need to operate, and maybe you can come back even leaner than you were before.

So you didn't lose ninety days during that pause. You found out really what the business needs and what it doesn't. Forced you to step back, gain some perspective. So even [00:19:00] though you feel like, "Oh my gosh, I lost all this momentum," just know you're coming back in a fresher space to be more effective, and you didn't force yourself to grind it out in a bad situation, because that's ultimately ~we...~

what we want to avoid. We don't want to just brute force this. We want to operate from a space of joy, that we're excited about what we're building. This isn't just a job. We're creating something that has lasting value.

Three Closing Challenges
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Bryan Steele: Finally, I wanna give you three challenges before we go today. One, look at what those things are in your life that might necessitate a pause in the side hustle.

If you're aware of what might be coming, what those things might be, you're gonna be more sensitive to responding to them. You're gonna know, hey, I'm feeling this burden, and I knew to look for it. So you're gonna be m- ready to know you should take a pause. And you may realize that right now you should be [00:20:00] taking a pause.

You should be taking a break, which is okay. If that is you, pick the ninety-day date now. Don't hesitate, don't wait, don't rationalize with yourself that you can get through it, you can grind it out. Pick that time. What does it feel like if you didn't have the burden of time that you were having to spend on the side hustle because of all these other outside factors that are demanding so much attention from you?

Let those things go. For myself, there was a season where my day job required overtime and some travel because it was an important project, had the attention of a vice president. I just didn't have the time to take on new projects. Like it just... There was no space in my life, so I didn't. You know, if somebody reached out and said, "Hey, sorry, can't take on any work right now."

I didn't do some of these automations and things like that to just literally put it on pause, but I knew I couldn't take on work. [00:21:00] But once I got out of that season I was in a healthier place. It was much easier to take on the work. And that's what I want for you. I don't want you to feel like you've just got to push through.

If you know you've got a temporary season that's longer than a week and longer than two weeks, it's going to be months, then just give yourself that space to say, I don't have the capacity. And it's fine to realize that. We only have so much time. We only have so many hours in the day. So pick them wisely.

Set your priorities wisely. And third and finally, if you are pausing, tell someone outside the house. Admit it publicly because that's going to help keep you accountable to taking those actions that you need to take. Okay.

Protect The Next Season
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Bryan Steele: Remember, stopping for a season is how you make sure there's a next season. Don't grind it out to the point where you [00:22:00] burn your business to the ground because of poor delivery, bad reviews, because you can't do the work that you really were made to do.

So pause so you make sure there's another season. And next week, what if you realize there really isn't a next season? What if the numbers are saying no and have been saying no for a while? Next week, we're going to be talking about recognizing when it's time to shut down your side hustle and how to do it without the story becoming about you.

I hope you'll join me next week and I'll see you then.

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