The Side-Hustle Dad

Ep06
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​[00:00:00]

Bryan Steele: Welcome back to The Side Hustle. Dad, I am glad you're here with me today. I want to tell you a little story. So after I'd been working in my business on the side for a while, I had actually started a podcast production agency and was doing some work. Had a few clients and it was going well. Nothing crazy, but I was steadily making income and.

I had a listing on the local Chamber of Commerce's website, and I think that's how this person reached out to me. And they were at a local nonprofit that helps entrepreneurs. They do different programming and things like that, and they reach out and they said, Hey, [00:01:00] we've got this program that helps, you know, starting entrepreneurs, growing businesses who are just really getting going to find new customers.

Like we, we do some coaching and some training and various things. Help you with your pitches. And said, I, I think, and they, she said, I think you should apply here.

The Doubt Shows Up
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Bryan Steele: Here's the thing. Here's the link and it was due the next day, and I remember going, wow, that could be, that could be really cool. That could be a.

Good opportunity. I'm excited about that. And I went and started looking at the application and it was like, what was your revenue and how long have you been in business? And I started asking all these questions, just wanting to get a feel for where I was at and where I was headed. And it was very quickly during that process that the fear started to rise in me.

Who are you? To fill this out. Like why would they accept you to this sort of a program? You're not a [00:02:00] serious entrepreneur, you don't deserve this. Those were the, the messages, those were the stories that were going through. In my mind, it was my imposter syndrome rising. It was coming up, it was bubbling to the surface.

Imposter Syndrome Stats
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Bryan Steele: And I know for almost every single one of you that are listening right now, you experience that same thing on a regular basis. In fact, there was a study done by Korn Ferry in 2024, and they said 71% of CEOs. Report feeling like an imposter, 71% of CEOs, that's a mind blowing number. And if that's the percentages for people who are at the very top of major corporations, then I know that for everybody else, we're experiencing those same doubts all the time.

So the first thing I want you to know is if you're listening to this, you're not alone. I felt it. The [00:03:00] people around you have felt it. Maybe they're not willing to admit it, but they have. And so today I want to actually spend a few minutes talking about imposter syndrome and how we overcome it in a way that allows us to move forward.

Redefine the Expert
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Bryan Steele: So the first thing, and this is true that I, I tell people even when they're working on a podcast with me, is we have to redefine who an expert is. The reason imposter syndrome comes up is because we feel like we have to be at our peak. We have to be at the end, at the goal before we're in a position to really command, you know, the prices we want before we're able to get the clients that we want.

We feel like until we're at that point, we're not really. Worthy of anything, right? There's gonna be that hesitation, that doubt. And so we have to redefine what it means to be an expert because you're coming along with an opportunity, a product, a service, [00:04:00] something that you're pitching. And so we have to reframe the way we think about it.

So instead of saying, I've got to be at the end of my process. I've got to have the PhD in business. I've got a decade of experience running this thing before, I'm willing to put myself out there. Reframe it to say, I just need to be two steps ahead of somebody else.

I just need to be a little bit of in front of somebody. In many ways, you can think about it like barrel of monkeys, right? That game with the monkeys that would all latch together to get somebody where they want to go doesn't mean you have to be at the top and pull them all the way there because of your amazingness.

You just need to get them to the next step.

Two Steps Ahead Story
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Bryan Steele: When I've done music production, I am not a Grammy award-winning music producer. Maybe I never will be, but I also knew I was two steps ahead of where those bands could be [00:05:00] if they did it themselves, or maybe if there were some other places or they were working with a friend or somebody for free, or somebody who was still in school.

I knew I could get them a couple of steps ahead. I actually had that opportunity at one point in time. There was a guy in town who at one point after working with me, he was on the voice, right, but he needed. Music production. He needed somebody with connections who could pull a band together and make it sound relatively clean and professional, and I knew I could do that.

He was getting attention. He was getting traction in the music scene, so I got some session musicians to help him with the songs. We put it together, we released five songs. It was good. He was happy. And then he went on to bigger and better things. Now I don't have to be in his world for the rest of his career.

We've been able to work on a couple little things here and there, but if he goes on and works with amazing producers and songwriters and things out in, you know, Hollywood or [00:06:00] in Nashville, that's great for him. But because I wasn't that Nashville producer, or I wasn't that LA producer, I didn't exclude myself from having that opportunity because I knew I could move him.

One step further, I can move them two steps further, right? So it's barrel of monkeys just pulling somebody up who's beneath you and getting them to the next step. So that's the first thing that you can do when you're, when you're thinking about your offer and your side hustle and your business. Don't try to beat anything and everything.

And I never portrayed myself as being this amazing thing. I just knew with what they wanted. I could help with that problem, I could help them with that aspiration and move them to the next step. So embrace that and lean into that. You can provide that same value, even if it is just a side hustle, even if it is not your main thing.

Even if you have not yet arrived, you can help somebody get to the next step. So that's the first thing. We [00:07:00] gotta redefine the expert.

Keep an Evidence Folder
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Bryan Steele: The second tool I like to use. When thinking about the impostor syndrome, and inevitably when it rises up, is to go to an evidence folder. We have a negativity bias, so we have to manually.

Feed it, proof that we know what we're doing and how we help. As you build your business and you get growing, and we'll talk about some of these things, they might be reviews that people have left for you on Google. So those reviews, those messages, those emails, those phone calls. Those people who have encouraged you or who have said, Hey, you really got me somewhere.

Maybe you did a case study because someone was in this place with their website and it was awful in trash and did nothing for them, and you improved it, and now they get attention, they get traction, they get clients for their own business because you helped them with their website, right? [00:08:00] Get that evidence.

Think through all of those things, and it doesn't necessarily have to be specific for your business that that's the easy one. That's the reviews, that's those things, but it can be how you've served other people and the way you've brought value,

that that is equally as valuable as you know what you've done in business to help somebody. These are your receipts. We're pulling them out, so save some of this stuff on the side. We know we're going to experience times where we don't feel up to it or we get some negative feedback, or we maybe drop the ball and that's okay because we are all human and we're not going to be perfect.

When those moments come, we need to have a place, we need to have that evidence folder of proof that we know what we're doing, that we're doing the right things, and we're moving in the right direction. So that's what I would say, you know, even, even just a screenshot [00:09:00] of a text message, right?

When somebody says thank you, just put that in a folder, set that aside, and then anytime those voices creep up. That you don't deserve it, that you're not worth it. You shouldn't send that email. You shouldn't make that offer. You shouldn't pitch that opportunity. You go to that folder and you go, I can do this.

I've done it before. I can do it again. You have to keep that evidence to be able to move forward.

Power of Community
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Bryan Steele: The third and final way of doing this is. The power of the room, the proximity. One of the things that I have noticed when you're building a business is it's easy to go it alone and, and when I say easy, I mean it's easy to hide.

You put yourself in a corner, you get away from people. You bury yourself in a cave, a studio cave, and you stop sharing life with other people and you're missing an [00:10:00] opportunity.

Program Acceptance Lesson
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Bryan Steele: Back to my story. So I pitched that opportunity, I, I, I was feeling that anxiety, but it was due the next day and I was like, well, whatever.

Fine, I'll throw in some numbers. I don't know if I'll, I doubt I'll get in, but I may as well throw it in. It's, it's due tonight. I gotta send it in. So I send it in. And I was accepted into that program and later I was accepted into another program that they did. And I will tell you. The education that I got was useful, but what I really got out of that was community.

It's realizing that all entrepreneurs, whether it's something that you as a dad are doing on the side or somebody who's doing it full-time, is it's really easy to start feeling lonely and isolated and you don't have to be. The best part is I got to be around other really cool people doing cool things.

See what [00:11:00] they're doing and be excited about 'em. I didn't have to be afraid of competition. I didn't have to be afraid of them being successful while I wasn't. It was a community, and I realized in that moment, going through those programs that this is where the power is in running a business. It's not in staying isolated.

It's not in staying by yourself and having this great offer that people are just magically going to find. It's having people around you who are your champions. Maybe they work with you at some point. Maybe some of 'em become clients of yours, but even without that, they believe in you. And it's sometimes it's a little easier to believe in somebody else than it is to believe in ourselves.

And so when you surround yourself with those other people and they. Put that courage into you, you start to realize what is possible with your side hustle. So getting around those people [00:12:00] regularly is important. Whatever that community looks like for you. There's a saying that you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with.

Now you're a dad, so your spouse and your kids are probably some of those people, but who are the other people? Do they champion you? Do they believe in what you're offering? I think that there's lots of great opportunities. There might be a networking group or referral community. There might be a business networking group that you want to join.

I think that those groups are so powerful. Not just because of the connections they make for you, but 'cause they pour the courage in to keep going so that you can start to push down that imposter syndrome that inevitably is going to come up.

Three Tips Recap
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Bryan Steele: So those are my three things to lean on when you're fighting imposter syndrome.

Just as a, as a quick [00:13:00] review, we're gonna go back first. Redefine the expert. Just use the two step rule to know. You just have to be a little bit ahead of somebody else to help them get where they want to go, for you to be valuable. Then keep the receipts. Keep all of that evidence that shows you know what you're doing, and then surround yourself with other people in community who will champion you and your efforts and pour courage into you.

Right. I think it will be massively beneficial as you go forward.

Final Encouragement and Share
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Bryan Steele: I know we're gonna get to more tactical stuff in the future, but I was just, I was feeling this this past week thinking about how imposter syndrome just really wants to show up. So that's my encouragement to you today.

Use these strategies to keep that at bay as you are building and running your side hustle. I'm so grateful for you to be listening. If you've enjoyed this [00:14:00] episode, you found it valuable, I would love for you to share it. Just use that share button, send a text to somebody you think this will help. That means a lot.

Thank you so much, and I will see you next time.

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